Alright well if you know me pretty well, you know I want a Volkswagon Jetta really really bad! mmmmm I’m going to have to work my butt off unless someone wants to help me out!!! (parents) lol ahhh come on!
I feel completely blessed, I know God answers prayers and this is one of them. I received a $500 scholarship from TSA, and although it isn’t a full ride, I am grateful for being selected. Melanie and I were the only seniors that received a scholarship from this organization this school year.
I’m extremely exited about the next few months of my life, not only is prom and graduation around the corner. But I am also closer to spending a week or two in Wisconsin once again. I finally got permission to go from my mom, now I just need to talk to my manager. I can’t risk loosing my job, I really need that money. I decided to stay in Conroe, and attend lone star community college at least for my basics. I think I will pursue my cosmetologist goal, if not I will study communications.
Life really does get better after over coming all sorts of drama. Sure I lost a few friends along the way, and had a lot of tears roll down my face. I had many nights where all I could do was cry myself to sleep, and others where I completely lost hope. But time heals everything no matter how much it once hurt. I gained so much more like, a closer relationship with my mom, I have a better relationship with my sister & dad, and maybe even a special someone….
Sure they are still many miles away, but they always call and keep up with my life. Sadly they can’t make it for my graduation, but I know they will be watching online, and celebrating. I’m sure even though I won’t be there, they will still throw a graduation party since that is what they do best.
Anyway I’m ready to finish High school, a little over two more months to go. Seniors class of 2012. (:
Just when I thought things were finally better, something else comes up. Why does it have to be so hard to be with the ones you love. All I have ever hoped and dreamed of was for my parents to actually get along. It hurts so much to know that my mom holds so much resentment towards my dad. I mean, she calls herself a christian, aren’t we taught to forgive and love our enemies and all those who do us wrong? I don’t understand I’m 18 years old and I’m still struggling with feeling to empty as if something huge were missing in my life. I know I have a step dad, and my God that love me unconditionally, but I also have a family in Wisconsin who I miss so much. It hurts to be so far away from them, I honestly don’t know what to do. My goal was to raise all the money Im making to visit them for the summer, but now my mom refuses to give me a ride to work. I need a lot of prayer, por que ya no puedo mas. The last thing I want is to hurt anyone with my actions and decisions, but for once can they just think of how much this hurts. Just because she grew up with out a father and never cared for him, doesn’t mean I’m like that too. Truth is I’m weak, sentimental, I care too much for others, and love every single one of my family members. I can’t even type a single sentence without these tears rolling down my face. Jesus please tell me what to do, give me strength, and the correct words to speak.
It amazes me how much work photo editing software can do. Although it is fun to mess around with, and can help for perfection, it really gives of a false image of yourself. I mean, why go to the extreme to edit all your pictures like this. In the end people that know you, know all your imperfections. Just let them be shown, even through pictures, your friends will love you just the way you are. Stop trying to impress all the guys by showing off your photoshop skills!
I really dislike how ever since I started working, I can supposedly buy everything on my own. It’s crazy how even for graduation things, I have to do it all. I would understand if they would have a legit reason, but that’s not the case at all. The excuse this time is “Soccer season for your little siblings is about to start and we need to pay all that, so no you can buy it.” Yeah thanks for being there for me, no problem. I’ll just waste the money I’m saving up for Wisconsin this summer, and all my prom stuff to be able to pay for all this crap. Thank you, thank you very much.
Those of you that get spoiled, appreciate it. Sucks growing, it really does, but whatever guess I’m going to have to keep working all the double shifts and getting less and less sleep all the time to keep my grades up, fully involved in church, and working at least 25-30 hours per week.
When I say I went to church for new years and christmas, a lot of people comment saying whaaaaaaat, why would you go to church on a holiday. My response Why Wouldn’t you go to church on a holiday? I realize it should be spent with your family, but why not give at least a couple of hours to thank God for what you have. On new years, the pastor at my church read us a scripture that meant, “Live your life one day at a time, don’t worry about the problems of tomorrow, instead focus on today.” That made me stop and think about my life right now. Lately I’ve had a lot of problems/struggles, with this message I’m learning to live worry free and one day at a time.
I’m not excited to go back to school at all, I got used to hanging out with friends just about every day and just having fun. Now we have to back to reality and do school work….Blahhhh :/ On the bright side, this week is all review for finals, the week after that are finals, and early release every day. Woop Woop :) Then it’s the start of second semester, which is said to go by really fast. You know with prom, graduation, and all that senior stuff. Well I’m ready to graduate, Class of 2012 let’s make the next 5 months MEMORABLE! <3
Were a day away from starting a new year, and I thought why not start a new blog. I’ll still use my old one but that one will be just to reblog things. This one will be me ranting about things that come up in my life. You don’t have to sit around and read it all, but as for it’s the way I let go of all my thoughts. Anyway it’s getting pretty late, I’ll be back soon for a story to tell.